TAKE A SECOND TO OFFER A HELPING HAND. WHAT YOU GIVE IS WHAT YOU GET BACK!

I have been looking for writers for a few projects. I have been using Upwork and the one thing I have found out about this site and others like it is people consistently overrepresent themselves. So I now ask potential writers to give me a sample. Here is a sample one young man gave me that was riddled with errors. As busy as I am, I corrected it and told him to take a writing class for free at one of his local colleges. He is not ready to call himself a writer. As black entrepreneurs, I think it’s important that we take a few minutes to help out young black talent that needs guidance. He may ignore my advice or heed it but I know I tried to help him.

WHAT HE SUBMITTED:

Before the Racial spur that led to the resignation of John Schnatter as the Chairman of Papa John, he was in a preliminary discussion with Wendy on a possible merger. The deal, if reached, would lead to the improvement of Papa John’s technology and a possible upward movement in the Pizza chain industry. Papa John’s share jumped to 4% when the news of the discussion was broken to the general public.

The racial spur has, however, frustrated the discussion and other potential deals. After the spur, Papa John sidelined John Schnatter by prohibiting him from talking to the press and removing his office space. The company also formed a special committee to act on the company’s relationships and arrangements with John. With this, John had to resign after confirming that he used the N-word during a conference call with Media Agency Laundry Service.

CORRECTIONS:

Before the Racial (small r for racial) spur (slur) that led to the resignation of (Papa John’s founder and Chairman, John Schnatter) John Schnatter as the Chairman of Papa John, (John’s) he was in a preliminary discussion with Wendy (Wendy’s) on a possible merger. The deal, if reached, would (have) lead to the improvement of Papa John’s technology and a (possible upward movement)(“possible upward movement?” say instead “both companies expansions) (delete this line thru period>)in the Pizza (pizza small P) chain industry (delete chain and industry). Papa John’s share (shares) jumped (jumped or dove?) to 4% (by 4%?) when the news of the (melee, mishap or blunder instead of “discussion”) discussion was broken (replace “was broken” with “hit”) to the general public. (better to say “hit the media”)(skip line for new paragraph)
The racial spur (slur) has, however, frustrated (replace frustrated with terminated) the (replace “the” with “further) discussion (end here. Delete this line >)and other potential deals. After the spur (slur), Papa John (John’s) sidelined John Schnatter by prohibiting him from talking to the press and (replace removing his office space with “evicting him from his office space”) removing his office space. The (board instead of company) company also formed a special committee to act on the company’s relationships (future relationship or behalf -singular) and arrangements with John (Schnattner use his last name). With this, (delete “With this”) John (Schnattner use the first and last name) had to resign (from his post as CEO of Papa John’s) after confirming that he used the N-word during a conference call with (a) Media Agency Laundry Service. (the last sentence should have started the story)